Updated: Jun 20

Nothing prepares you.

Nothing anyone says, suggests, not even the thousands of blog posts out there [trust me, I’ve read them all].

When you have one child, your world revolves around them. Every little “first”

The first cry

The first smile

The first poop

The first laugh

The first bath

The firsts from the first are alway exciting, interesting, a big WOW! Who knew that a tiny human sneezing would be SO STINKIN CUTE!

For their tiny amount of time on earth, they have been wrapped in your world, your attention, your time and haven’t had to share that with anyone. How can I ever imagine loving someone as much as my one child? How is that possible? What if my first is my favorite? What if I can’t connect with my second? Will my first feel abandoned?

In enters baby #2. {IN ENTERS MASSIVE MOM GUILT. the mom guilt is inevitable. you realize that no matter how much you talked about + tried to prepare your first kiddo for the new baby, they didn't realize how much their life + role would change.}

Your heart doubles in size. Each child gets 100% of your heart and love. [I always wondered how could I love two kids at once and the truth is your heart really does double. It’s everlasting. Unconditional. For both. Equal.]

Everything [all the firsts] are still equally exciting with the second. It’s so much fun telling the toddler “you used to make that same face when you were a baby!” "Remember when you loved mommy's milk?"

We talked a lot about baby sissy. Watched many videos about being a big sister, read books, she loved to cuddle up with my belly, feel her kicks, her hiccups and talk to her. However, just like nothing prepares you for parenthood, nothing prepares the oldest sibling for sibling-hood. Especially a toddler.

The first 2 days were the hardest. There wasn’t much balance {of course} and it’s crazy how quick you forget how NEW a newborn is and what they require. Throw in a hyperactive, ready to go, “come on mommy!” toddler, and trying to heal while your hormones are dropping expeditiously + breastfeeding and things get pretty........cray-zee. I had to find my balance between allowing my body to heal, breastfeeding, getting into the swing of sleep deprivation again, and still being present [ESPECIALLY EMOTIONALLY!] for my three year old who has been my tiny little best friend for the past 3.5 years.

It was hard seeing her cry [and she’s not really a crier] when I couldn’t get up to watch her use the bathroom because my placenta was still in tact [read about my home birth story here]. It was hard hearing the newborn cry when I laid her down to help big sis put on her pants.

My heart feels tugged sometimes as I figure out my new role as a mom. Left to right. Right to left. In a good way. Although beautifully exhausting, it can become depressing pretty quick when you feel like you aren’t meeting the needs of one or both or feel as if you should put a little extra *super* in supermom. In my short week of parenting a newborn and toddler, I’ve learned to give myself grace. Take one minute at a time. Because a day at a time is too much pressure.

Take it by the minute.

Then the hour.

And let it build. Before you know it, it’s bedtime. [At least until the newborn wakes up. {bonus points if the toddler wakes up because of the newborn!}] but,

This is the beautiful stage of growth. Growth of becoming a mother of two. Learning to love two tiny humans whose first breaths were taken in my womb. Blood from my blood.

My advice: Adjust. Let it build. Take it minute by minute.

Your kiddos have a best friend for life. This is just part of the process.

“Take it minute by minute. Because a day at a time is too much pressure."

4 things that have really helped me:

  1. Help. Whoever is helping you, whoever can help you, let them help [of course, if you trust them and feel confident with them doing so]. Whether it’s washing dishes, doing your laundry, running errands, cooking, holding baby while you sleep. [I’ve learned that some people think that holding the baby is helping. Its OK to not want a break from your new baby. It’s OK to NOT want help holding your baby. Helping in other ways will allow you to bond with your precious bundle of joy.]

  2. Rest. This was the hardest for me. I have somewhat of a routine so that our place doesn’t become a disaster and not being able to clean up was taking a toll on me but I needed to rest. Our bodies are an open wound after giving birth. Everything is delicate. Everything is raw. Allow your body to heal. And heal some more. And more. If you have younger kids, have them snuggle up with you and the newborn and watch a movie, eat a snack, hold the baby, color, read, do some crafts all in the comfort of your bed. Try to stay in bed as much as possible those first 2-3 days.

  3. Get some fresh air. I know, I just said stay in bed. But take about 5-10 minutes to just sit outside [comfortably], raise a window, open the balcony/patio/backyard door and let some sunlight in. Take in a few deep, meaningful breaths. I love stepping out on the balcony and just getting a few deep breaths in. Especially during post-partum. It’s so easy to feel down and blue being in the house all day.

  4. A routine. Get into a routine that works for you and your family. It’ll be a little hard to figure out the ends and outs early on so start small. Maybe you wake up before the kids and get yourself ready then prepare breakfast, feed the baby, dress the toddler, read a book or two, play in the floor, go for a walk. Find what works and try to stick with it. If it doesn’t work, change it up a bit. As of right now, our routine is pretty simple. I decided to make it simple to gauge how well the toddler would adapt to a schedule. We've always been go-with-flow around here. Our days consists of waking up, brushing teeth, getting some sunlight [through the window because it is 100 degrees at 7AM in Texas] playing, lunch, nap, and more playing!

Remember to give yourself grace. You’re doing an amazing job.